If You Can’t Pick Your Family, Can You Pick Your Gender?
There are an infinite number of adjectives that people can choose from to describe themselves. They can choose from: big/small, short/tall, fun/boring, happy/sad. However, when society begins to define people, it tries to fit them into as many short categories as possible; Black/White, Male/Female. The more categories come up, the harder society works to sort them. Take for example nationalities such as Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Salvadoran, Guatemalan, Ecuadoran, Paraguayan, turn into “races” like Asian and Latino. It is for these socially made categories that people now feel the need to define themselves as a certain race. Once that has happened “Race dominates [people’s] personal lives.” (Haney Lopez 965). Then there are the harder categories that society fears to categorize like gender. It would be easier if people would just be male or female, feminine or masculine, but those lines are blurred. Therefore they try to makes as many categories as they can such as gay, transgender, transsexual, bisexual, but there are more than the fields that they create. It is no wonder then that “because races are constructed ideas [they] form part of a wider social fabric into which other relations, not least gender and class, are also woven.”(Haney Lopez 970). Races and cultures begin to define gender roles and sexuality and place them into rules that must be followed. The 1995 film My Family/Mi Familia, strives to depict the struggle of a Mexican-American family. The film is a depiction of Mexican music, dress, language, food, religion, and struggle. Evidently of course, they will show the gender roles and sexuality that are governed by Mexican culture. In the film, there are many differences in the depiction of male and female gender roles and sexuality.
The movie My Family follows the different generations of the Sanchez family. The movie starts off by showing the life that the father, Jose Sanchez, lives in Mexico. Because Mexico is the cultural foundation that the Sanchez family will follow, they make sure to show the colors, dress, and religious practices that Mexicans follow. Within that sequence, they also begin to the differences between men and woman. The first men that come into that scene are pulling a cart with a cow. It is implying that they are working. A second later, women are shown in a grave yard practicing spiritual rituals. For those that have no knowledge of Mexican culture, they would think that it is the men that work and do the hard labor and it is the women that are spiritual and superstitious. This perception is also validated when Maria, the mother of the Sanchez family, is deported back to Mexico and has to come back. Maria and her mother talk about having faith in the Virgin to bring their family back together. Also, when Chucho almost dies, Maria takes him to curanderas or spiritual healers that are all women. The only men that are seen in that part of the movie are the men that are working the boat that will help her cross the river. The men are doing the hard labor which is pulling the boat across an angry river. Because these are the scenes that set in the family roots already show the divides in men and women, it serves the purpose of a reasoning or explanation of how or why the Sanchez children create their roles. It also enforces the “Dominant paradigms, predefined concepts that exist as unquestionable, unchallengeable, are transmitted to us through the culture.” (Anzaldua 1018).
What the movie does in the Mexico scenes is not unlike what many American settlers did to Mexicans when they began to take over their lands. They began to do what Ian F. Haney Lopez calls “gender racialization” (970). He states that during the frontier expansion “the native men of the Southwest were depicted as indolent, slothful, cruel, and cowardly Mexicans, while the women were described as fair, virtuous, and lonely Spanish maidens.” (970). The movie My Family keeps the tradition of gender racialization alive by showing these differences in men and women early on in the film. These perceptions are imprinted in the minds of the viewer as actual Mexican gender roles. Although, the Sanchez family transfers themselves in to a new country some of those gender roles that are set in Mexico are not changed.
The jobs and roles that the Sanchez family takes are highly racialized but even more set in gender. The jobs that the men have in the movie are highly physical. The Sanchez father is a gardener. The viewer sees Jose’s hands bleeding as he pulls weeds and cuts plants. He meets his wife Maria while she is a nanny for a rich white family in the west side of Los Angeles. After their marriage however, Maria is no longer a nanny and takes the role of a house wife. The viewer sees a young Maria saying “Jose, ya esta tu café con leche” ( My family), “ Jose your coffee with milk is ready”, and at the end of the film although she is of old age, she still tells him the same thing. No matter how old she is, her job is to be dedicated to her husband.
The same is seen in the lives of Isabel and Jimmy. Isabel, a Salvadoran immigrant, is working for a white family as a nanny. When she and Jimmy are finally going to have a child Jimmy begins to do manual labor in a sort of grocery warehouse. The woman that Isabel works for, Gloria, realizes that she “has to find someone else” (My Family), because Isabel will have to assume the role of a house wife for her own family. Of course, the film takes the time to show how this gender racialization is seen through the eyes of those of other races or cultures when Gloria’s friend says “Ya they’re always getting pregnant. As soon as you get one trained, each them some English, they can answer phone. Then boom she’s pregnant.”(My Family). The view to other cultures about the Latino race is that they are always having children and after that they serve no purpose because they assume the role of the house wife. However, some of the other Sanchez children try to break the mold of their racialized jobs.
Gloria Anzaldua argues that “For a woman of [Mexican] culture there used to be only three directions she could turn: to the Church as a nun, to the streets as a prostitute, or to the home as a mother.” (1018) and My Family corroborates Azaldua’s argument. The roles that the two Sanchez girls choose when they are young are within the three categories that Anzaldua gives. Irene gets married. She is to assume the role of the wife and mother. Her family is so overjoyed by it that they threw a huge wedding that “nearly ruined [Jose] financially” (My Famiy). But since she was assuming a role that is accepted for women in Mexican culture they celebrated. There is also another celebration that happens on the same day as the wedding. That is when Toni announces that she is going to be a nun. The family is again proud that the women in their families are leading to the lives Anzaldua argues are the three roles that a woman can take.
However, later on in the film there is a shift in the film. The women assume what Anzaldua calls “a fourth choice: entering the world by way of education and career” (1018). Irene’s job is still close to the domestic work that the film shows that Latina women should do. She owns a “family restaurant with Gerardo” (My Family). She is still seen in the kitchen cooking. However, with the success that she is experiencing is connected to a negative aspect. The narrator and her brother Paco says “As Irene’s business expanded so did Irene”, meaning of course that Irene got fat. Although Irene was successful, the film had to show how that affected her negatively. Then Toni is the most revolutionary one of them all. Toni breaks all the rules of her culture for women. She leaves her life as a nun and marries a priest. First she is breaking the rules of the church. Since, it is the woman, as the movie first depicts, that is more spiritual she is not suppose to break such rules. Then, the priest that she marries is also a white priest, which is a big turn for the family. Her career after being a nun is extremely out of the gender role. She is a political activist helping the Latino community with problems such as immigration. Because of that her family is always scrutinizing her. Paco is heard saying that she deals with “that political bullshit” (My Family) and her father yells to her “you and your politics” (My Family). She is also the only female that is not seen having children. She is the only female that detaches herself from the traditional roles that her race and culture give her.
The Sanchez sons are also expected to take certain jobs. Jose fights with Chucho and bans him from the home when he finds out that Chucho is selling drugs in order to make a living. Jose says that he needs to find a job with dignity. It is because of the culture and because of the law that Jose finds Chucho’s job extremely offensive. The men of the family are expected to do work with their hands or jobs that will make decent money in and honorable way. If Jose is not at his official work he can be seen working on his milpa, which provides corn for his family. It is a means for his family to eat. Therefore he is seen as the good male; no matter what he keeps working. Like Chucho Jimmy was as the bad son because he had no real job until he decides to do right for Isabel and his son and “finally crosses the bridge to the Westside”(My Family) to work. Paco is also seen as a bad male figure because of his choices. When he was younger Paco was a proud figure because he was in the Navy. However, his choices after made the family see him as a shame because he was not married and he wants to be a writer. And, as Jose states, “Who is going to pay for that?”(My Family). That is why Maria says that “Memo is the pride of the family” (My Family) because he is on his way to being a lawyer and attending UCLA. He is on his way to having an honest career that will make him an amazing living. Although the men have more choices in their decisions than the women, they are not immune to the gender racialization that the film creates. Though life decisions such as jobs and work are already a lot to live up to and carry, the list only continues.
There is another heavy task that the women have to live up to and the men get to forget about. The women in this movie are the keepers of their culture and the men get to assimilate in to the “American” culture or create a new one. Chucho is the first character that we say take on a new dimension of his culture. Instead of being a traditional Mexican male he becomes a Pachuco. During the wedding of his sister Irene, he says “man I hate this mariachi shit”(My Family). Then he is seen listening to Oldies. He doesn’t like his cultural music. However, his sister Toni, is seen doing the traditional dances to the mariachi music at the wedding. She is the one keeping the culture. The same goes for Jimmy when he is with Isabel. He is also listening to Oldies and Isabel comes out and says “Oldies, Oldies always listening to Oldies.” (My Family) and she puts on a Dominican Merenge that is listen to in many Latin American countries. Although it was not Mexican music she had him listening to what more people of his culture were listening to than to what he was listening to. She forces him to dace with her in a way that many people in Mexico and Latin America dance. That’s why the old man comes out and yells “Que viva la raza!”(My Family), because it was music from their race instead of the Oldies music which is Americanized. The other way that the women keep the culture alive is through their dress. When Toni comes back from being a nun she is wearing the traditional Mexican shirt that has the hand woven designs. Through out the movie she is only seen wearing these types of shirts. The same goes for Irene. Once she has a family she not only cooks the traditional food but she also wears the traditional outfit. She also wears the traditional shirts but she goes further by wearing the skirts and the wraps. The men, like Guillermo, Jimmy, Chuco, and Paco get to wear the clothes that people wear in the united States. Chuco and Jimmy wear the Pachuco clothing. They wear the flannel shirts, pressed slacks, and white shirts, clothes that are not uncommon in the U.S. Guillermo is more conservative wearing business suits or dressed in his UCLA shirt and shorts. The men are able or maybe more willing to move away from their culture than the women. However, it is Guillermo that moves the farthest away from his culture than anyone. He is engaged to a white privileged female, but unlike his sister who married a white male, he disconnects from his culture completely. He lies about family stories, and changes his name from Guillermo to William and even his nick name Memo to Bill. Although it is implied that the family might look down on Memo’s choices, he is still allowed to disconnect. The movie gives the women the job of carrying the culture throughout the generations and the men are moved away from that job.
Out of all of the things that culture dictates is the sexuality. It comes to no surprise that the men in the movie are more free to be sexual than the women. In the beginning scenes back in Mexico there man running from a woman with his pants down implying that was probably cheating on some one. He is allowed in the story to be sexually promiscuous, something that is not seen throughout the movie being done by women. Also, Chucho is seductively dancing with a girl at a dance. The girl is enjoying the dance but it pulling away from him. In the movie, Chucho is allowed to be pushy and seductive with the girl and if the scene wouldn’t have gone into a knife fight he probably would have continued with his intentions with the girl. Now, one might say that Isabel was also pushy and seductive with Jimmy and one might think that she is also free sexually like Chucho was, but her mission was different. Her mission was to make Jimmy be her husband. She assumed the role of the wife before that of a sexual partner. She cooked for him and began to rearrange the house. It was obvious that with Chucho he probably had no intentions on marring the girl that he was dancing with. It is only until Jimmy accepts Isabel as his wife that they interact sexually. Isabel had to wait for Jimmy’s acceptance thus leaving her sexuality at the hands of the man. Her sexuality is based on something more long term, like the culture says that it should be. She was able to be shown in that scene sexually because it was with the man that she married. Chucho on the other hand did not have to wait to be involved legally with anyone. He is a man so he is able to do what he wants with his body. The way that the other women are shown sexually is in order to have children. When Maria tells Jose that she is pregnant with their third child Jose says “Do you remember when it happened? That one Sunday afternoon.”(My Family) When he says that Maria blushes because of course the movie portrays her as to innocent to actually be apart of such a thing, but Jose goes on to say that after he saw an angel and he knew they would have a child. This is making the sexual act that they engaged in, more of an act from God than a demonstration of their own passion. The oldest sister Irene is never discussed or shown sexually either, she is just said to of had children and that is it.
The only woman that is shown to be engaging in sex for pleasure and is shown to be free sexually is the one that rebelled against everything else; Toni. Toni rebelled against the Church, against her family culture by not staying true to the Church or her race, by not having children, by having a career, and by being a political activist. When she tells her parents that she is married she has a flash back where she is enjoying intercourse with the man that she might or might have not been married to at the time. The scene itself implies that it was a wild act because they are surrounded by the plant life and jungles of Central America. Because it is in such a random setting it might be trying to say that it was a random act. Toni rebelled against everything. Even though she tried to maintain many of the roles her family put upon her, she still lead her own path. That is why she is the only women in the entire movie that is able to be shown enjoying the act of sex for pleasure and not for bearing children. For women of the Mexican culture “the ultimate rebellion she can make against her native culture is through her sexual behavior. “ (Anzaldua 1020). And among other things she defiantly followed that rebellion. One may argue that because Isabel is shown in bed with Jimmy, she is also shown as sexual. However, she is not seen enjoying it as Toni is. She is just naked and it was that act that allowed Jimmy to share his emotions. It was soon after that, which she was with child. Therefore, the act was more to connect with Jimmy and to start a family than to just be enjoyable like Chucho was free to do.
It is no surprise that sexuality is a big aspect of cultural control. Because of the physical aspect that unite a culture such as hair color, skin color, height, and facial features “The body may also operate as a metaphor for culture.”(Bordo 2363). Thus, what one chooses to do with their body usually is seen as affecting their culture through stereotypes. For example, in the United States, if a woman of one Latino culture is seen a promiscuous the other Latino culture might see that whole sector as having promiscuous women. If men are more promiscuous than another culture some might say that the men are weaker or less masculine. It is the “Social renditions of masculinity and femininity often carry with them racial overtones, just as racial stereotypes invariably embody some elements of sexual identity.” (Haney Lopez 970) The body is “a practrical, direct locus of social control.” (Bordo 2362). The more culture decides what its people can and cannot do gives them more and more control of people’s physical body actions. Sadly, this is scene more so in women’s bodies than in men’s. The control of the female body is more important to a culture.
Within one family, it is easy to see how controlled each individual is by their Mexican heritage especially in terms of their gender roles. Even in the Sanchez family some of the children are seen as better than others based on whether they followed the cultural guidelines of their gender or not. Race and culture work to define what a group of people are. It describes where they are from, what they believe in, and most of all what they can and cannot do. But even with in those cultures there are still many divides. There are divides in class, in gender, and many other aspects. Unfortunately, race also serves as a divide one people from others in the world. This is because “Races are constructed relationally, against one another, rather than in isolation.” (Haney Lopez 969). Race does not serve the purpose of uniting. It makes people fight for lands, for jobs, for well being. It allows people to point fingers. It serves as an excuse to create hate and injustice and “It alters electoral boundaries, shapes the disbursement of local, state, and federal funds, fuels the creation and collapse of political alliances, and twists the conducts of law enforcement.” (Haney Lopez 965) as we can see when Paco says that in the 1930’s “If you looked Mexican you were picked up and shipped out.” (My Family). This social creation of a race is blurring the fact that all races, all genders, all cultures, all people are human, and that unites everyone, whether they like it or not.
Works Cited
Azaldua, Gloria. "Borderlands/La Frontera." 2004. Literary Theory, an Anthology (Blackwell Anthologies). 2nd ed. Grand Rapids: Blackwell Limited, 2004. 1017-030. Print.
Bordo, Susan. "Unbearable Weight: Feminism, Western Culture, and the Body." The Norton Anthology of Theory and Criticism. New York: W. W. Norton, 2001. 2362-376. Print.
Haney Lopez, Ian F. "The Social Construction of Race." Literary Theory, an Anthology (Blackwell Anthologies). 2nd ed. Grand Rapids: Blackwell Limited, 2004. 964-73. Print.
My Family/ Mi Familia. Dir. Gregory Nava. Perf. Esai Morales, Jimmy Smits, Edward James Olmos. New Line Home Entertainment, 1995. DVD.
